PhatGrrl

The Angry Wife - PhatGrrl Pulp Phiction!

2012-01-16T09:31:00.000Z

Lilly turned into a small dark street to the right of her road, pretty sure she had been followed. The dark night sky had a shimmer to it as she slipped down the back ally ways and through a door she had no idea where it led to. The noise of her heels seemed to echo painfully as she scuttled into a corner trying hard to be quiet. She huddled down, clutching her bag tightly, one gloved hand in her pocket as she shivered in the cold night air, her heart beating so loudly she thought it would be heard

She heard footsteps behind her, through the alley which had stopped just about the same time as she held her breath.

'I know you're there' said the deep voice. Lilly could smell the smoke coming from the cigarette which was promptly extinguished under foot with a twist of a shiny brogue.

'It's only a matter of time before you come running back to me, I told you I'm sorry' He paused, 'I love you so much Lilly - I made a mistake' He pulled his collar up around his face and began to walk away.

She began to breath as normal and stood up, still listening for his footsteps. She had no idea he would follow her. Had he seen? Did he know?

He had left. Leaving the smell of Marlborough Lights and cheap perfume hanging in the air. She was pretty sure that he hadn't been back to the flat yet, that place where he had spent hours of fun, laughing behind her back with the cheap scented woman. If it hadn't been for that hair clip in her bed, she would never had known. How she had kept it this quiet up until now was beyond her, how she hadn't thrown him out, screamed and cried and told him how much he had broken her heart. Maybe it was the pain she felt deep inside her that silenced her, that pain of betrayal that made her keep her silence until now.

Lilly stood up and pulled her gloved hand out from inside her pocket and opened the palm of her hand. The poison bottle was empty. She didn't want to be there when he arrived back at the flat, so she just had to wait just a little bit longer in the cold. She knew the first thing he would do was to open the fridge door, break open a Bud and sit on the table edge listening to Dean Martin.

As he sipped and listened, it wouldn't take long. Just as quick as his lover pleading for her life as she clutched the neckline of her pale blue nylon négligée. Lilly opened her clutch, threw the bottle in it and rummaged through. Pushing the gun to one side, she pulled out the Valentines card he had given her this morning, a tear rolled down Lilly's face as she remembered how he had told her she was the only one. Then from beneath her card, with its blood red roses pictured and its empty sentiment wrapped in gold scripted letters she pulled an identical one and inside that card the name of his lover with the same words he had written to her.

Tonight, will be their last Valentines night. Lilly had made it her promise to herself and to them. She smiled.

'The Angry Wife made sure she left her mark' she Whispered to herself trying hard to stay upright, half scraping against the wall as her legs began to feel weak and her eyes blurry. She ripped into both cards and kept tearing them until flutters of tiny pieces were left scattered around her in the midnight air, gracefully settling on the wet ground close to where her body finally slumped. Valentines day was finally over.

A PhatGrrl Pulp ~~Fiction~~ Phiction Novelette

Original idea copyright 2010 - 2012 PhatGrrl

Thermofax Screens Design Project

2011-10-18T13:24:00.001+01:00

We were lucky at the adventure playground I work for, to beawarded some funding to enable us to run a design workshop throughout the yearbeginning during the summer.

The projectincludes research into design, photography, learning how to use digitalequipment with design programmes on the mac and also, drawing original designsand then burning them onto a thermofax screen and learning how to print. I found that my own thermofax really came in handy and as much as it was a great expense, it certainly was a gem. So when I got the opportunity to be able to buy one for work, we bought one for the children's use at work and yes, they have been very happy using it for all sorts of different designs.

Many of the younger children were happy todesign images to go onto t-shirts and onto their own material, of which wouldbe used later in the year to make bags, or skirts from.

The older children have started to work on their own logo’sto incorporate them into their own clothing.

One group of boys who began working on their own logo, have now showninterest in starting their own clothing line.

They have already bought with their own funds,hoodies and are now planning on printing their designs onto them.

This has encouraged us to begin our very own Business School.

EveryMonday the boys (and anyone who wants more information on starting their ownbusiness) can meet with Lorna and gather relevant information to help themstart up their business’s.

I shall keep you up to date on how this goes.


Ricey - Dragon 1 rolls eyes

'I'm ringing Debra Meaden, you see if you can get Duncan'

Meanwhile here are some of the images that our childrenat work designed and which I burned for them onto their screens using the amazing thermofax machine. We used the plastic frame surround on these ones. Many of the sizes under an A4 we find don't always need the frame. We seal the sides with gaffa tape and this is enough for smaller screens to support them.


This one was a bit mucky, the graphite pencil can be a bit messy, but the image is easily cleaned up with a rubber. Putty rubbers do the job best!


Alfie's screen - I love this one!

Dean Making a show of himself - You'd think it would be the kids messing about!


Most of us begin to ignore his shenanigans....

Practice run over. We will post the pictures of the printing on material and t-shirts.

PhatGrrl Landing!

2011-05-01T16:51:00.000+01:00

So they say, you know... Marketing experts and those kinda dudes who..um, do it like dudes, say it's what you need if you have an on-line business. Your facebook should have a landing page with a 'call to action'. I only just found out what a call to action is, it's what you want your visitors to do once they hit your landing page (or website), but landing page in this instance.

So I looked everywhere for a template I could alter. Do you know, just how many people out there are talking about landing pages who still have the old fbml application rather than the most updated information for the Static HTML iFrame tab application. So, it took ages to find the right information to be able to create something which is kind of simple if you know how and are given the correct information upfront.

I looked at template Monster and then wondered why I always need to spend cash just because i do something, or have an idea. So instead, I brushed off photoshop, hunted down some correct information on static html iframe in facebook, and found that it was nothing more than really putting together a nice image (in my case) and then adding image links to that image and adding the code to the facebook application.

Anyway, it took hours, then I lost the image map amongst other silly mistakes. But I now have it up and online. Even though I say so myself, so the first attempt at one of these things, I am rather proud.

Oh, and another little note whilst I have blogger open, I found out yesterday that my mark is now registered! Whoooooppppppp!!!

Cuts Cuts and More Cuts PAH!

2010-09-14T12:41:00.002+01:00

I never really meant to use this blog for anything other than my creative works. But today, after being witness to certain attitudes regarding cuts in general, let alone cuts to the Arts, I had to blow off steam somewhere.

I listened to LBC radio station today and listened to the comments made by people regarding cuts to the arts. It seemed very clear that many people don’t seem to think it has anything to do with them. So when browsing facebook, in the news feed I came across Haptrees post and a link to her blog with an animation by David Shrigley

http://tiny.cc/2h4jr watch it and I hope you see why you should support this and then sign the petition here: http://savethearts-uk.blogspot.com/

I left a comment on Haptrees blog because it seems more and more it seems that many believe this has nothing to do with them as people.I work at a centre that is funded by the local borough, central government has made it clear they are making cuts and the borough (as have many in the UK) will of course pass those cuts down onto the people who provide services in the local community.

We are part funded, which means funding for salaries from the government and funding from other funding bodies for additional things so that the centre can run; such as summer, Easter, Christmas holiday schemes, trips and residential off site so the kids can experience a world other than the place they see every day of the year . Do people realise what they have in their local community? Umm, some do. Many don’t. Do many even realise where the funds come from? Nope.

The activities provided at my centre are better than some that people pay for. The Arts are coming out of our children’s ears, bvecause we are lucky to have found funding to provide materials, or specialist workers, or sessional workers who free up time for myself to take workshops. Their choices are second to none as they have options to create, learn and have fun making, expressing themselves, acting, singing, creating music and song as well as costume making, making instruments, a full range of arts and crafts from pottery to jewellery making, mould making, giant puppets and miniature flower making, hats, masks, parties to celebrate the traditional holidays, and more. ALL FOR FREE! Other than school, where really, most children don't have access to activities like this all year round, where else can they do all these things, for free?It's free because money is fundraised for the centre.

All I know is that the community get an amazing service, run by people who actually care about their children and young people. Our kids get support and guidance, help, love and care all year round. The Borough, that fund the salaries, pay for a 'commissioned' service (what exactly does that mean?), which is logged, monitored and reported on so that the people behind their shiny tables in plush council buildings can get a good idea of what we do. But do they? No, of course they don’t.

Because we live in a tick box culture. As long as you can tick a box and say you’ve done it, and have some waffle to show objectives and outcomes, then it’s all sweet. Until the cuts come and this will then potentially threaten a homely place that our children feel confident in and are happy. An environment which is free and which promotes play and the Arts. Us being cut by the borough will mean that the money will have to be found elsewhere. I can tell you from my experience with fundraising at the beginning of the year in Jan the independent funders have already put a stop to funding us as well as similar organsiations.

No funding (from anywhere) = no resource, no resources = mean kids bored, children and young people bored = discontent, discontent = Well, lets see shall we? We will see the direct effect that making cuts will have on us all, in all sectors not just the arts.We provide lots of different services for children and youth under one roof. And although it is all based under the pretty banner of ‘free’ play, play will be cut, arts will be cut, any funders who happily gave money for Arts workshop/activities will disappear.

Sustainability is a word I hear bandied around. Other than to rent a small hallway how do you sell ‘free’ play? And to who? Before you know it, we will be told to charge an entrance fee and charge for each workshop activity.

But you see, although we get commissioned to run the centre, I no longer believe we should have to crawl over glass to be grateful for the funding we get. We do a job, it just so happens we love that job (most times!), we put more into it than we probably should, but we do it never the less. There is a need, there for the borough and funders should see this. How many years have to go by until we realise if you forsake the children and youth of this country and believe that this won't have a direct effect, we will continue to end up with a society that doesn’t give a toss about anything or anyone unless it has a pound sign stamped into it.

So when you think of ‘oh well, everyone is getting cut, we all have to make sacrifices...’ Think on, especially if you have children and you use one of your free resources in your community... The day you roll up after school and the gates to your favourite funded organisation is closed, shouldn’t be the day you realise just what you had on your doorstep. CUTS have a direct effect on all of us. Just like politics. If you close your eyes to it, it crawls up behind you and bites you on the arse.

I would say that from what I have read and what I have listened too on the news and on forums, that there quite a few people who seem to think that this will have no direct effect on them as individuals or their families.This will have an impact on the UK and not just in the inner city, but in smaller rural communities. To some, it only concerns those they see as posh or rich and who step out to the Ballet or Opera: what does it matter if a few performances in the West End get cut.

If they only realised that these cuts will also hit grassroots organisation, many of which work with children and youth. It would be great if you now see the need to go sign the petition and pass it on to your mates! http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/save-the-arts.html

My Comment on Haptrees blog.

Over the years change has already taken place in our society and groups that run organisations for young people based around the arts will be directly hit and the results of this could be more unrest and more young people feeling isolated, not listened to and with nothing better to do than to find other less attractive activities to keep themselves occupied in their communities. Not the case for all, but for many. If you cut the funding of the resources available to those kids, there will be a backlash of some sort in communities and in the greater society eventually.So don't think that cutting the arts means Opera and just theatre.

This funding the government give organisations does a job and isn't, as the media would like you to think, just flittered away on nonsense. We can all close our eyes and pretend that the arts are just for the people who live on the hill... But if you do choose to close your eyes, you're about to reap the seed that you sew and in the next few years you will see the results.

Tea and Procrastination

2010-09-07T17:29:00.011+01:00

These days, it seems I just don’t have space left inside my head. I can come up with numerous ideas, scribble them down, and then procrastinate until they seem to fizzle. So many ideas, not enough time and before I know it, its night time, I’ve watched another four films and haven’t bothered to actually create anything. Which, pretty much equals more than plenty of time, especially as I’m off work for two weeks. Do you see where this is going? I'm going to show you my messy work space, you can at least try to see where I'm coming from. First issue is mess.

This work room (ex sitting room, but now taken over with crafts stuff) is as messy as inside my head. You're going to have to excuse the spelling errors and such like. I tend to go with the flow, yes I know... Not a good idea when posting, but whato and all that!!!

Doesn't matter how often I start to tidy it, it just never seems to get there. Today, I am on a rather big moan and sabotaging myself and my efforts once again. You see, I fill my head with soooo much that it’s impossible to get to do all the things I really want to do.

Somehow I self explode (or is that implode??) and end up doing little or nothing. I used to have masses of energy and worked from day till night, from my full time job, to working on music until early hours, to seeing friends, making stuff, loads of stuff, selling, having fun, having relationships, living. The less I do, the less energy I seem to have. Today, I am letting you inside the creative messed up mind.

I know, wait till you see the rest! How can anyone have a clear mind in this lot. It's like a messed shop that has been found after hundreds of years of neglect! Yes, i realise that I could make things better by getting rid of most of this stuff, especially the things I probably can do without.... But i can't. I might need them one day.

I have always wanted a Gocco, I now have two.. Have I ever used them?  Ummmmm.

This space, right here, is like the inside of part of my brain.

This pooch is meant to go to one of the nephews, it's filled with coins. Have I let him escape as yet? Ummmmm.

Looks like something out of nothing, something which probably would take someone who loves to tidy, no time at all....

8.5ft oil painting of a fly!

I just don’t know how to prioritize my own work load. I get bored easily, work on three necklaces at one time, jump from those to searching for something that I had forgotten I had, somewhere lost in time (mess of the work room), research stuff online, go back to the necklaces, pop off for a tea, research something else, shop online and then shop some more because the idea is burning inside my head.

I have a collection of Molly Murphy paintings and drawings.  I only stopped collecting because I have no more room.

This was commissioned in memory of my Ma. by C. Thompson


See, I try. Muji and Ikea love my debit card! Black boxes not my first choice, but ho hum.

I adore collecting art.  Top to floor and no more room, I shall post about the artists another time.

Gerald - My Mums Monkey.  She just called him Monkey. I know, you feel like you're being treated somehow, don't you? :P

See, there is a special box for felt and one for Cotton.  Have these gone back into their boxes?  Ummmm.

It’s frustrating; I would like to be reprogrammed please.  I need to be able to file things inside my brain and pull them out when I need them.  Not for all the ideas to step up, screw up pages and pages of process and chuck them at me from behind their own home made sofas inside my head.  They bombard me; they scare me, because as much as I want to do all these things, I don’t ever seem to get much done.  I just finished a 6 week holiday programme with kids at work. 

It was full on, enjoyable most of the time, frustrating at other times due to some of the kids that use the place.  Frustration sets in and the worry that I will never escape, as much as I don’t really mind the work, I fear I will be far too old to get on with my own stuff.  Never earning enough, never being able to survive as a designer/constructor, maker of ‘stuff’.  Moan, moan, moan, moan, drone on moan some more!!!

Shameful MESS and this isn't everything I'm showing you.  No, no wait there's more.

Molly Murphy Painting

I'm not even sure why I am showing you all this.  I think it's time for a  break isn't it?  I doubt you'll get to the end of this waffling.

Meanwhile the dream of blue seas, beaches and no mess with French windows opening out onto the sands of time, fade and I am stuck here in an inner city miniature flat made for miniature mice, trying to tell myself it’s not the end of my life. Of course, where ever I go, I take me with me, so work that one out....

A birthday gift, a portrait of me from my friend and artist Alexa.

Why do they sit next to my uncomfortable chair?  Because I ran out of space on the wall to floor shelving *rolls eyes*.

Me at least six years ago.  It's the only picture I like.  I look wrinkled in it, but I like my short hair!!! :D

One whole wall from floor to ceilingsis covered with these amazing shelves.  Still there wasn't enough storage.

Why can’t I just be grateful for being able to walk, to think, to work? I heard a snippet of a take from a woman who called into a show about how her husband, who had passed away, would still weep with his friends at the age of seventy, for the bombing raids they took part in. I have never had to experience that, I didn’t have to kill for my country, I didn’t see those atrocities, so why can’t I just be happy with my lot and not dream? It brought tears to my eyes to think of those men weeping for the people they killed, a job they had to do during the war years. I tell myself I should feel gratitude for being fortunate, for being alive, but I can never understand why it’s never enough for me to say those things to myself.

I'm a hoarder, I'm messy and I can't stop spending. I have issues, especially around cake.

by A. Lazar taken from an odd angle so the image is fuzzy.

My art makes me happy.  Creating makes me happy.  I just wish I wasn't so messy and had a bigger place.  I'd still be a craft trollop, but as logic goes, If I had a bigger place, it would mean I have more money, so I could then afford a house keeper.  Hip hip!!!

Guess who? I haven't even shown you half of her work.

Without sounding impossible, or brattish, I just want to create somewhere nice, whether its jewellery, art, stories, cards.... I just don’t want to do it here anymore. sixteen years feels like a prison sentence, some of their cells are bigger than this.   – but my other voice (you know the one, I think they call it the voice of reason) says I should create where ever I can, it shouldn’t matter.

I am choosing to ignore this voice of reason.

I’d even hop up to Brighton, well, maybe Hove, if I had the money. But oh yes, I spent it all on a craft room, and equipment and materials, that I doubt anyone would actually ever be able to use in a life time, least of all me. I hoard, because ‘you just never know when you may need it’. Except, I forget what I’m hoarding. I make lists; I try to store stuff in a way where I label or log where things are.   This doesn’t always go to plan. Somehow, over time it all goes wrong. I want space. I wonder if I had space if I would find some other reason... Voice of reason says; Of course you would.

I want to breathe clean air, I want to feel the wind biting into my cheeks, I want to smell a forest and feel branches crunch under foot, and I want to see greenery. Not windows surrounding me back and front of this flat... What’s that Alfred Hitchcock film called....? You know the one, where the bloke in a wheelchair sees a murder. That’s how these places are, back and front, a theatre for neighbours. OH STOP WHINING ME! It hurts my head, why inflict it on others? *thanks voice of bloody reason*

I want a workroom with a glass roof (yes, ok, so now I’m going off on one – you see, this is what I do...) a huge garden, French windows, coffee brewing, massive kitchen with everything I have ever desired, high ceilings, wall to wall, floor to ceiling windows, everything in its place and a big puffy sofa that could fit a burlesque troop on it. All my art work surrounding me so I could see it all every day, a work room that is bright and big and doesn’t take the place of a living area.

A kitchen that smelt of French apple tarts baking, bathrooms off every bedroom, wood every where and enough space to hold a party and have people to stay.
Portugal would be good, the Silver Coast, not sure why really as I’ve never been there. Switching from Berlin to Portugal to London, who knows?   I feel creatively stifled here in this place, although once again, the voice of reason tells me, there is more to life than fantasies like this. Again, I give the voice of reason a slap.

My memory is failing me badly, my friends and family laugh about it, but it worries me somewhat, you’d think I was in my 70’s. I feel as though I’m in the wars, in my head, in my life, in my mouth! Funny how, with a failing memory, I never forget how to spend money or eat cake and ice cream. Hey ho. I can't fit any more pics on here. It's already a novel as it is. Breaking all the rules of posting blog stuff according to the 'this is what you shouldn't do' blog....

Looking at the positive, I bashed around the Dyson scaring my cats whilst cussing this mouse sized flat, changed the bedding, did loads of washing, sorted bins for tomorrow and still didn’t lift any pliers. I cried a little on hearing from my nephew with his news that he has been waiting for, and then realised....
There are more important things in life than putting this much effort into bitching and moaning about being unsatisfied with what I don’t have, I should be cherishing the things in life that do. Mind you, I'll still complain, if only I had that glass ceiling.....

Heavens Tea Party

2010-07-10T10:09:00.000+01:00

I know, I know, I haven't been around for a bit. Well I've been around, but I just haven't written on the ole blog. I've been getting my head around work and also trying to sort out my work room whilst making new items. Making, taking pictures, listing and such like takes such a large amount of time that after work, the only thing I'm really after is a nice cup of tea.

Nice tie in Lorna. Why thank you. OK, so I know that I never really wanted to use the blog as a promo tool. I have my thoughts about all of the things people tell you to do regarding promotion and a post will be added (I hope) shortly to do with that.

But this post is to add some photos of one of my latest pieces, 'Heavens Tea Party'.

It's a necklace. A lush necklace. A necklace for those who love to shine. There is nothing more attractive than a woman who loves her food, in particular cake and this, this necklace is a celebration of cake! Cake and tea are my saviour, although don't go telling pocket Jesus. This necklace is homage to my fantasy that Heaven really throws the best tea parties, mainly because the angels make it so!

So if you're tempted to buy this delicious lickable piece or just having a peak to see more images of this Queens delight, feel free to browse and try hard not to lick your screen.

More will be included in this Heaven range, bracelets, rings and brooches. If you're one of those cynics that believe that all makers just throw charms onto a chain and sell with no thought, then think again - I'm not one of those people. Some of us just don't work in that way. A great deal of thought goes into my jewellery, part of me and my imagination create these pieces and I always pray that they go to a home that will love them and cherish them and tell the story of the piece hanging around their neck. It's never just a throw away tale.

If you knew the angel Glory, like I know the angel Glory, you wouldn't take wearing this with a pinch of salt. She is the tea lady amongst the clouds, the angel of all angels and the one angel that looks pretty hot in a pink tabard.

She is.... Gods Tea Lady, trolley and all and she is the inspiration behind the angels having their weekly Sunday get together to celebrate all that is cake and tea. Using her best porcelain baby blue and chintz cups tipped with gold leaf, she takes her job quite seriously.

Welcome to heavens tea party!

Pet Hates 101 part two

2010-02-16T13:31:00.001Z

Part Two

6.    If you're charging me a fortune for 6 cabs, or 15 brass bezels then within that make sure you have charged me for the cost of either taping them together (see point 3 - as long as its not wrapped like a mummy) or placing the items in a bag. Shoving them all into one bag that pops is equal to stamping on them in my books. I didn't pay to have items scratched and chipped because you're too lazy to separate the items and show that you've spent some time packaging.

7.    Giving me free shipping isn't something I need to be thankful of if you skimp on everything else you provide which should be a basic standard of running a business. I won't be grateful for free shipping if it means you think you can send it to me when you want and in any condition you choose. Result, I won't spend my money with you again.

8.    MY ADDRESS: There's a bit of a clue in those words. My address, is where I live. If for some reason you're running a business and you're wondering why all your customers haven't received your items... Then maybe, you did to them, what you did to me. Try writing the correct address, i think it works when sending a package. It means that you have read the information provided with your sales email and that you can put pen to paper and send it to the correct person. I'd rather not sit for ten days when expecting a UK parcel to find it has been all around London looking for the address that actually doesn't exist anywhere other than in your head. Now I know, mistakes are made. But on contact, don't make it seem as though its the customers fault for your mistake. It helps to be honest, or certainly just make it right. No excuses, just MAKE. IT. RIGHT!

9.    Customs Form: Hmmmm, no. I’m not about to ask you to write GIFT on anything actually. I pay over and beyond what I think any of us should pay HM treasury. Tax on what? I’ve just paid shipping, handling, packaging, and now I’m being charged more. Ok, so this isn’t so much to do with the seller, but it has when that little green form isn’t filled out correctly and you think you’re being clever. I had one seller send me my leather string, all in all it cost $5. I know, I could have got it from ebay, less waiting time, less hassle, but I liked the colour (told you I was a compulsive shopper). Anyway, I get a customs charge for around £14, I was expecting other stuff so no matter – that’s just what you have to take on the chin sometimes. It arrived and it said ‘owl watch’ on the customs form. I thought ‘huh’. I don’t even like owls, and I wouldn’t have bought a watch from Etsy either. Anyway, I opened it curious. Low and behold, what do I find? My fivers worth of string. I just paid £14 as well as what, £3.50 approx for string. You can imagine the message she got and the excuses I heard. I received a refund for ALL my costs inc the charge from customs.

10.    I understand that on sites such as Folksy or Etsy we as buyers don't have to see the sellers address. But what i would like if I have just sent through my hard earned cash is some form of business contact name, number or address. if I have just done business with you, and you have my address, why shouldn't I have access to yours if I need to contact you.

Just because we use sites like Folksy, Etsy - doesn't mean we need to hide our details from the customer. I dealt with someone recently that after I sent her my money, I had no form of name, address other than the site I ordered from and a gmail email. Nothing else. That doesn't leave me feeling very secure as a buyer from some of the handmade sites out there. I must say, its not too common and most of the sellers/store owners I purchase from at least respond via message with a name and include business information with the package on arrival.

11.    Messaging Customers: You know, its real nice to let people know if something has shipped. But if you're bogged under and busy, I can understand how this can become a chore for the more successful sellers. But when you contact me, please make sure you at least type the message or email properly. I know its only the internet, but I'm a bit old fashioned in that way. A 'Dear' or hello doesn't cost and certainly doesn't take more time. I don't expect a novel, but I do expect you to address me as a customer and not a mate. What is it, that a number of sellers think its ok to respond to queries with a one liner even though you have written to them using their shop name and signed your name on closing? What is that? What is it that as a seller you hide your identity on contact from me? Why? It won't make me trust you, it will make me wonder just what you have to hide.

12.    Don’t tell me you’ve sent my items when they’re still on your settee

13.    Don’t take my money and then tell me you’re sending it along later as it isn’t actually in stock

14.    If I’ve been shopping with you for years now, and have spent a fortune – more than a few can of beans… Then appreciate that I still spend with you and instead of your broken arse cracked beads, send me something I have at least chosen numerous times from your shop as a thank you. Yes, I know that big shops don’t do this often, but they do offer point systems, vouchers and yes, it would make me spend even more with you because I know you actually give a damn about long standing customers and customer loyalty!

15.    Feedback: I am as honest I can be without ruining anyone livelihood or hurting anyone. I am constructive or better still if I’m happy will sing your praises and pass your info on to other people. I have been on the other end of feedback as a buyer, especially on Etsy. People wait to leave you feedback even though as a buyer you have done your bit. paid on time, money direct from bank via paypal. I’ve done my bit *dusts hands* now I wait. I don’t see why I can’t have my feedback now thank you! But I know why. My experience has been with mainly large suppliers on Etsy when they don’t like something constructive you’ve written they think its ok to leave you bad feedback. I had one I had to go through Etsy admin to deal with. I didn’t see that it was right that someone could leave me negative feedback when all I mentioned was them not sending the goods ordered, fair comment. Yet she left a red mark on my perfect 1575, 100% pos.rating. I was devastated, I don’t even know why. I felt aggrieved because as a buyer who paid, I had done nothing other than to be honest and clear and not spiteful, as I could have been or angry or even evil. It was all removed and eventually that seller closed shop and reopened as many many others had spotted what they had been doing to buyers and too many red marks doesn’t make for a pretty dress now does it? I have no idea what that means but it just came out of my fingers.

Ok, so this may sound like a whine – well it is. Today, I’m afraid I don’t care. Why should I pay good money to have tat thrown into my home through a little slit in the door just because some small business’s just haven’t got to grips of how to run a business and how important customer service should be. Why on waiting for ages for packages to arrive should I be the one to feel my heart sink?

So that’s it for today. I’m sure as I sip my tea I shall think of plenty more to moan about today. It’s just one of those days. My latest never going to visit you again supplies seller was on Folksy, I guess that’s why I’m a little peeved really!   Just one long moan on how I would very much like to be treated as a customer please.

Pet Hates 101

2010-02-15T15:31:00.002Z

This is Sharon - She's not Tat!

I have some real pet hates regarding shopping online and the arrival of those packages. Now, like the next person I have no issues with people charging for handling, postage, packaging, not when its fair. I really don't, as long as I can see that when it arrives, some of that charge is shown in what care was taken in how it was packaged and I don't feel as though I have been ripped off.

There are a number of things I pretty much hate when shopping online, especially when shopping for supplies. You can't of course fiddle with the stuff - I mean, no touching. You'd have to be an awfully clever bint to be able to reach into the screen and have a quick grope at the goods on offer. So I rely on great pictures, from every angle to tell me what I can't touch or see and a good clear description of the product.

Anyway, I've spent as per, too much money on many supplies which to be truthful; I probably could have waited for or didn't really need at all. I have been waiting for them to arrive, with anticipation, more than not because of the post and the way the delivery office around this area makes packages magically disappear, never to be seen again. So I'm all on edge every time I order, wondering if it will ever show its face. Well, today, some of the first lot from Hong Kong and the

USA

arrived, all in one piece, so I could let of a sigh of relief.

I then go through each package to see that it's all there. I end up feeling quite evil by the end of opening most of them, consoling myself by telling myself at least it all arrived in one piece. Pointers to remember; I'm not sure if any one else has this fierce grievance on these issues around packaging, but what the heck - I do!!

Today, I am speaking as a buyer – sometimes compulsive, but all the time with debit card to hand, one who spends far too much money on stuff I probably don't need, but who expects a well packaged item to fall through my door, good customer service, however small you are as a business and not some tat to arrive that you'd think came free with this months ‘Crap Through Your letter Box’ journal, February issue. This is also a list to remind myself of what not to do when I'm sending items out to customers. Although, I'm far to precious with packaging and I deliver what I would expect to receive myself. Do unto those as you choose to have done to yourself - or whatever really.

Pet Hates:

I don't expect a free gift. No, really - I don't. But if you're going to give a free gift, then the clue is in what I have just spent my money on in your store (specifically supplies people do this). Most suppliers will send you a bag of nonsense that you stare at for a moment, strike puzzled pose before rummaging through to see if there is anything you can salvage and then end up binning the lot – cursing and rolling eyes. If you’re going to send me something as a token, which is sweet to say the least – remember not all customers will see it as a kind thought. Most will wonder why you bothered if all you’ve sent as your token of thanks a bag of odds you can't get rid of, or that's broken, or that you have stored up from the 'other free gifts from people I don't know' box. I'm not sure why anyone would think for some reason I would want a bag full of rubbish – it doesn’t say much to how you see your customers? Why would you even think I have the need for broken shards of resin - oh excuse me - Lucite - beads to cut my fingers on, or broken brass components. Stick to a note of thanks, it works.
Sweets - hmmm, a nice idea in thought. But let’s leave it there shall we? I'm a diabetic and would rather not be tempted with illicit crack sent though the mail. I also am a tad odd when it comes to receiving sweeties from strangers (my Mum always told me if you're going to take anything from a stranger let it be money and then run! - no, she didn't actually – I just felt like writing it) - however nice a gesture it was.
Packaging: Ahhhhhhhh yes, packaging. Don't charge me for it, then tell me you’re saving the earth and send me my items stuffed into smelly old newspaper, or old bubble wrap which doesn't have any bubble in it any more and wouldn’t protect a crushed beetle let alone glass beads. Now you may believe you are saving the earth in some small way, but if you're going to attempt it, then at least do it with meaning and don't then charge me for the privilege. I am not keen on receiving packages with bubble wrap that's old and smells of smoke or paper that could be from the house of an old aging relative and used for mice bedding.

TAPE: I also, as I grow older and get more feeble and can’t seem to rip into tape with the gusto of a 17 year old. So I would like it that you try real hard not to tape things up so as to make me go find a course as a ninja master in cutting the tape and then cutting more to get to the goods. I love it that a package is secure and arrives in one piece and is not busted open, but - please remember that there is someone at the other end that needs to get into the package to access the goods that they bought. Remember Gok Wan - less is more!

On the other hand, don’t send my packaged with a twist tie so it’s easily riffled through, less may be more but offering up my paid for items on a plate to anyone who fancies dipping into that envelope, isn’t so wise now is it?

Charging me for international shipping - Check!
Charging me for an international package in a box - Check!
Sending my items in a padded, recycled envelope which pops under the weight of the goods, which not only end up in a UK customs bag to say damaged before UK - but where all the goods are either bent, dented, lost or in the land of the postal Bermuda triangle, that's not such a CHECK, more of a tick off and I will never buy from you again.

Don't charge me for something then not deliver it as you’ve told me you would because you’re being cheap. Don’ then pass it off as ‘the assistants, girl, the new workers’ job to do it and who made a mistake. How rude, let alone stupid and unfair, because believe me, if need be - I will make sure I get a refund and that really isn't what either of us are after now is it?

Don't fill the envelope with shredded paper please, because i don't relish having to pick up all the tiny bits that fall everywhere. And plllleasssseeeeeee don't add glitter or shiny tiny little stars that drop out and stick to everything. I'm still digging shiny things out from my belly button two years later after one package.
Sickness, Injury, Headache, Hand fallen off: Read my lips... I am not interested. When I shop at John Lewis, or Sainsbury’s, more than not, you won't hear them give out excuses because they do actually want their customers to be happy and failing that, they will ensure they do their utmost that your shopping experience with them is good or they pay, by customers walking and spending elsewhere or by forking out in compensation. The power of online social networking sites, let alone word of mouth can work for you as well as against you. So why appear to be unprofessional? Now, I am not such a cold hearted old bag lady to not appreciate that things go wrong for all of us running small businesses. Whether that's something at work, home, kids whatever... But I really am not interested in it as an excuse in business and for the reason to my items not been sent, or is lost, not being shipped, being damaged pre packing. If you want to run a business, then at least appear to be professional if not make it one of your goals.
PROMO ITEMS: Wow, 29 business cards all saying the same thing. NICE! I’m sure you’re very proud of your pictures of your 100 different items on mini cards from Moo, I love them too. Just not on mass. But it will ensure that I don’t pass them on other than to my bin and not even the recycling one. Don't do it, two at the most, surely you want to save them to hand them out. Sending them all off in one go is a waste of cash and waste of promotion.

I don't mind seeing your logo – in fact I love seeing that someone takes branding seriously, a tag line if you have one, lovely ribbon, paper, a note. BUT STOP WITH THE MILLION BUSINESS CARDS.

Don't recommend to me who you think I may like, from one of your friends or 'networking peeps'. It may seem like a good idea to you when you're sitting around having your promo meetings, but to me, it’s a pain and I choose to shop with you, not your friend.

Part two tomorrow.

Folksy Valentines Swap - The Final Frontier

2010-01-27T13:22:00.009Z

If anyone happens to pop past my blog and read my ramblings, you will know that I have made several attempts at creating something for my Folksy Valentines Swap. Well the person I was to send it to, Teasemade finally received the item in the post, so I can now show you the process of making it. (I didn't want to spoil her surprise by posting this too early)

This is the of making my poison heart - in line with my anti-valentines range The Angry Wife. I'm not really anti Valentines, I just wanted to try something new with my jewellery and which would be worn by those who have been scorned and want to show the world they don't give a damn! But I also wanted my Valentines Heart swap to carry the theme through.

I used 3mm wire to form the 3d heart.

The wire had to be twisted to make sure that none of the wire pieces slipped. I tried to use one whole piece of wire where I could and then added smaller pieces if I felt certain sections of the structure were or might slip out of place. Everything had to stay where it was to ensure that the heart didn't collapse in the papier-mâché process.

I began to add the shape of the wings. Exciting isn't it? I'm far too tired to throw my usual Hollywood tales into this one... You get the idea behind the supporting wire pieces? It's a process to create a support structure. It's at this point I was supposed to add a chain to hang it from. I forgot!

I started to prep the tissue paper, a heavier weight tissue paper than packing tissue. Using a medium thicker than PVA, I got messy.

The white of the tissue paper really makes these pictures hard to look at.

I began to layer the tissue paper on, with a view to patting down and shaping once the medium got tacky.

Not a very good image. It's the works camera. But you can see, to puff out the heart and give it a better shape I wanted to raise the front of the heart so I used cotton wool.

Over the cotton wool I placed a heart shaped piece of tissue so I didn't overload the frame by using more tissue where it wasn't needed. I also didn't want the shape of the heart to start to distort.

You can see the heart is beginning to take form. It just needed a little bit of teasing and patting down into place.

Award for another bad pic goes to moi! It's the white in the images which goes off balance but you get the idea. Layers of tissue followed.

I wanted to use words and so the first layer was a poem written by Shakespeare. I used it because of the script font more than the poem, as that was to be the base layer.

On top of that the next layer was ordinary tissue paper, bright red, which glares with an orange tint, not sure why. Maybe my wonderful photographing skills again, who knows. The red tissue paper also released dye, which was a tad mucky.

Another layer of my poison labels.

Just to say, this process wasn't done in one day. It took about 8 days in total, waiting for layers to dry.

The feathers. Messy job.

Several layers so that the wings actually look like how I imagine angels wings to look.

Making sure that the edges were covered so no tissue paper and paper can be seen.

Look at those wings! I was very proud.

At this point I sat it on a radiator to ensure that the whole heart and all its layers were dry.

Final poisoned heart sat on top of my work lamp in the craft room. Looks a bit odd, but that's the picture. I have asked Teasemade to take a shot of it as this (weirdly) is the only one I have of the final heart. But you can see the results.

Off for a tea.

Suicide Grrl

2010-01-17T15:20:00.003Z

Milly flicked her pink hair out of her eyes and flopped down on to the settee. She was tired of crying. The other grrls had all gone on their Valentine dates and she was left on her own, wondering where it had all gone wrong.

It was a well known fact that she hated Valentines day and if she had one wish, it would be to see it gone for good. She flicked the bottle to one side and played with the candle wax filling the candle stick holder!

A breeze filled the room, the blind rattled and then settled still. It made her shiver. She rubbed her tattooed arms and got up to go and turn the kettle on.

Milly stood making her tea in silence, a song playing inside her head. She stirred her tea to the rhythm of that song. Throwing the spoon down onto the counter, she returned to the living room.

The cup seemed to drop to the floor in slow motion, tea spilling out and splashing up the side of the walls and over the floorboards leaving a very large hot steaming puddle in front of her. In the centre of the room was a figure. Milly stood still.

It turned to face her, its plush baby pink wings stretched out, feathers fluttered down and into the tea soaked floor. The air was scented with roses, doves flew around the room as if sprinkled in diamanté, landing on the chair and table. The figure smiled a very wide smile showing perfect teeth which seemed to glint as he opened his mouth to speak.

'I am the angel Glory' his voice boomed. Milly stood dumb founded, tea dripping from her hands and trickling down her legs.

'I am the angel Glory.....' he boomed again as if she hadn't heard him the first time.

Milly suddenly snapped out of her daze and from nowhere she felt a rage rise within her.

'WHO?' she said with a sarcy tone.

The figure opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could say the words which had already been spoken twice Milly jumped in.

'Yup, I know who you are, but what are you doing in my flat and what exactly are you?' she pointed up and down his statuesque stance as his wings closed behind him almost embarrassed at her comment, his body seemed to shimmer in a non existent light.

'I'm an angel' he said campily. Somehow he had lost the boom in his voice.

'An angel in my living room?' Milly stepped over the tea and plonked back down on her settee, curling her legs beneath her trying to wipe of the residue tea from her hands onto her t-shirt. She stared at him with a scowl. He stood biting his lip feeling a little uncomfortable.

'You called me sweet pea, I was dancing away on the head of a pin when I got a call from big foot (as it were) and he told me to get my pink plumes down here sharpish, 'cause we got a call in and I was to deal with it' Glory bounced down next to Milly and began picking at his nails. 'Do you have a file or something? I hate that journey down here, always mess up me nails, it's those doves, they're not meant for travelling - they scratch and scowl, to keep a hold of them is murder' He chewed on his thumbnail, coated in a baby blue pearl nail varnish. Milly rolled her eyes.

'You're from heaven?' she spat out the words in a dismissive manner, passing him her last nail file from the packet. He rolled his eyes and began to buff his nails.

'We don't call it that dear, we never know these days who we're going to offend, so the angels renamed it the Big Pink Palace'

'You can't do that!' Millys mouth fell open, shocked.

'Well we have, we haven't told old big foot mind you....'

'Bigfoot? You mean God?'

'Shhhhh' Glory screwed up his face and shook his hands at her.

'The all seeing, the all powerful, but keep it down hey? Just call him - Big Foot!'

Milly sighed heavily and grabbed back her nail file before standing to her feet and stamping. Glory pursed his lips and reached for the empty pill bottle on the table beside him.

'I don't believe you' she said 'this is ridiculous - beyond belief' she snatched the bottle away from him and in return Glory grabbed back the file

'Is it now?' he said defiantly.

'If we say the G word, he has a radar, its like leaving a walkie talkie on, or one of those baby alarm things you know.... so we don't call him by his name, OK'. The kettle starts to boil.

Milly looked round through the door of the kitchen, puzzled.

'I put it on dear, don't you know how to treat a guest? Do you have any fondant fancies, the yellow ones are my favs? I get peckish on the journey'

Milly looked at Glory impatiently. 'Why are you here?'

'You know why' he said 'You called me'

'No, no I don't recall calling you'

'I heard your heart breaking' Glory put down the file.

'I heard it out loud and so I came to you to help you mend it'.

Milly was silent. She sat back down and looked at Glory.

'My hearts not breaking any more' she said to him in a whisper, not really believing her own words and having taken the pills.

'That's because it wrapped in pain and you just don't feel it any more. Hating Valentines day isn't going to bring that loved one back to you. This day is especially for people like you. OK, granted it's been made to be far too commercial in my eyes, but....' He paused his rabbiting.

'But what?'

'Well, if it means there are ways to make the person who makes your heart sing notice you, even we can't begrudge that now can we dear?' Glory moved a curl of pink away from her eyes, his scented breath was like walking into a sweetie shop, it made her think of bubblegum and cola cubes, aniseed twists and those little bars of chocolate made to look like tools. :D

'There's more to your life than sitting here in your little cave hiding your heart away from the world Milly, its time to show people what you've got and shimmy with the best of them - 'ave you ever partied with angels Milly?' he already knew the answer to that one.

Before she knew it, she was standing on the head of a pin surrounded by angels in gold and silver, an array of bubblegum pinks and baby blues, shimmering together listening to loud pumping music that she couldn't quite make out who was singing. Glory pulled at her arm.

'Come on, you can't not live up here, I'll make sure that heart of yours is mended' Milly threw back her head and laughed loudly as she followed him onto the dance floor. Who would ever have guessed that Heaven could be so much fun!

The Angry Wife - PhatGrrl Pulp Phiction!

2010-01-17T01:37:00.005Z

Lilly turned into a small dark street to the right of her road, pretty sure she had been followed. The dark night sky had a shimmer to it as she slipped down the back ally ways and through a door she had no idea where it led to. The noise of her heels seemed to echo painfully as she scuttled into a corner trying hard to be quiet. She huddled down, clutching her bag tightly, one gloved hand in her pocket as she shivered in the cold night air, her heart beating so loudly she thought it would be heard

She heard footsteps behind her, through the alley which had stopped just about the same time as she held her breath.

'I know you're there' said the deep voice. Lilly could smell the smoke coming from the dis guarded cigarette which was promptly extinguished under foot with a twist of a shiny brogue
'It's only a matter of time before you come running back to me, I told you I'm sorry' He paused, 'I love you so much Lilly - I made a mistake' He pulled his collar up around his face and began to walk away.

She began to breath as normal and stood up, still listening for his footsteps. She had no idea he would follow her. Had he seen? Did he know?

He had left. Leaving the smell of Marlborough Lights and cheap perfume hanging in the air. She was pretty sure that he hadn't been back to the flat yet, that place where he had spent hours of fun, laughing behind her back with the cheap scented woman. If it hadn't been for that hair clip in her bed, she would never had known. How she had kept it this quiet up until now was beyond her, how she hadn't thrown him out, screamed and cried and told him how much he had broken her heart. Maybe it was the pain she felt deep inside her that silenced her, that pain of betrayal that made her keep her silence until now.

Lilly stood up and pulled her gloved hand out from inside her pocket and opened the palm of her hand. The poison bottle was empty. She didn't want to be there when he arrived back at the flat, so she just had to wait just a little bit longer in the cold. She knew the first thing he would do was to open the fridge door, break open a Bud and sit on the table edge listening to Dean Martin.

As he sipped and listened, it wouldn't take long. Just as quick as his lover pleading for her life as she clutched the neckline of her pale blue nylon négligée. Lilly opened her clutch, threw the bottle in it and rummaged through. Pushing the gun to one side, she pulled out the Valentines card he had given her this morning, a tear rolled down Lillys face as she remembered how he had told her she was the only one. Then from beneth her card, with its blood red roses pictured and its empty sentiment wrapped in gold scripted letters she pulled an identical one and inside that card the name of his lover with the same words he had written to her.

Tonight, will be their last Valentines night. Lilly had made it her promise to herself and to them. She smiled.

'The Angry Wife made sure she left her mark' she Whispered to herself trying hard to stay upright, half scraping against the wall as her legs began to feel weak and her eyes blurry. She ripped into both cards and kept tearing them until flutters of tiny pieces were left scattered around her in the midnight air, gracefully settling on the wet ground close to where her body finally slumped. Valentines day was finally over.

A PhatGrrl Pulp ~~Fiction~~ Phiction Novelette

Folksy Heart Swap Mark 2

2010-01-14T10:31:00.002Z

Having had a short argument with Cheryl Cole over double creamed Devils Cake about whether Kylie and Danni were really sisters, I attempted my second whiz at the Folksy Valentines Heart swap. I'm not quite sure where my head is at the moment, I guess the things in everyday life just make the creative side of your brain seize up and nothing really seems to flow. I'm not short of other ideas, for other things I want to work on - so I'm just not quite sure why this seems to be such a challenge.

I started off with some mega hard red clay. It took ages to get it to the right consistency. I am not even sure why I started this so late in the evening. With the Waterloo Road Spring DVD blaring in the distance, I used my home made moulds of my dolls face and a heart mould I had made to try to form the idea rattling around in my head.

Ok, so the idea was to mould (as I normally do with my creations and then carve and clean up the piece as I go. The clay at this point (polymer) was the right consistency.

At this point, I should have done what I normally do. Put it in the fridge to settle and cool. My hands were getting hotter and hotter, the room was pretty warm through me having turned up the heating and I just should have put it to one side. But I didn't!

I began to clean up the edges with a view to making the face part merge with the heart part, so it could be hung from string once baked. I used a paintbrush end to smooth around the heart and try to clean it up with my craft knife. My tools are somewhere under the table in my tool box, but because things are still not in place in my work room, I failed to find them. Long winded? Yup, what more would anyone expect?

So it start to think, hmmm it's coming together. It seems to be ok, the clay is holding although kind of sticky. Knowing this, I carried on.

TUT!!!

I am never worried about the marks that come from a mould as I quite like the flaws a mould can leave on clay. Although I had intended to clean up the clay as best I could pre baking.

I shouldn't have taken both parts out of their moulds at this part. I have never attempted using moulds for a back and front piece to get the shape started. So it was always going to be trial and error.

Just after carving and smoothing the piece, this is the point where I smashed it up into a ball and started again - stupidly!

So I rolled out the clay again and repressed it in both sides.

I thought, this time I would just work with one side in the mould.

I used a bigger piece of clay to make the heart much thicker.

Patted and smoothed it down before removing the other side of the mould. Is mould spelt mould? or mold? I never know... Anyway, guess what I then did with it?

Yup, I started again. I kept getting into trouble (as it were) because I felt the face side was too small to mould a good sized heart on the reverse.

So I try a bigger mould, infact two bigger moulds, but because of the way the mouths were on those doll moulds, it again became a chore rather than coming together. I didn't take the pic of the other dolls face, but it has an open mouth which mean the depth of clay used needed to be extra thick. I dis-guarded the larger moulds and went back to the smaller one. Don't ask why. By this time my eyes are hurting and I'm very tired. I should have just put everything away rather than become frustrated with the idea.

I began again.

The clay was far too soft and the mould wasn't dusted with talc, so that caused its own problems.

You can see, the look of the impression is now quite different to the first. I bashed the clay into one piece and went to bed, fed up!

So that was my evening and my second attempt at the Valentines heart swap.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

2010-01-11T09:27:00.004Z

I was twittering away this morning on (of course) the blue bird site, faffing away trying to get used to the fact that I'm back at work today when the phone rings. It was an unknown number, now normally I choose to ignore those - not quite sure why, but I do. Today I decided to try something new and I picked it up.
'PhatGrrl?' The voice said.
'Yes' Said I a little hesitant but also quite intrigued to who was calling me so early on a dull, icy Monday morning.
'It's me!' Said the voice.
'Me?' Said I 'Who's me?' I said confused sipping the last dregs of coffee at the bottom of my glass.
'Brad'
'Brad?'
'Yes, it's me, Brad' The voice had become a tad irritated. I was obviously supposed to recognise the voice.
'I'm not sure I know a Brad - Brad!' I said to the voice. 'How can I help you Brad and how did you get my number?' I drained the glass and sighed, the sky was still very gloomy and to be honest I wasn't really into a game of guess who so early on a day when I would rather had been at home finishing my bits for Valentines day.
'Pitt' Said the voice
'Excuse me? There really is no reason to take that tone' Said I getting a little snappy
'Brad Pitt Phatgrrl, it's me Brad!' The voice sighed back
'Ohhhhhh - BRADDDDDDDDDD' I sat up in my chair and poised myself as though meeting a the Queen, I had finally clicked. How was I to know it was Brad Pitt?
'How you doing Brad? What's with calling so early mate?' I snuggled back into my chair looking at the empty glass which once held a piping black coffee - wondering if Brad had people who ran to get him coffee when he needed it.
'Angelina needs a pair of earrings, she was surfing all morning and had a bit of a tantrum because she couldn't find anything - I of course thought of you' He seemed quite matter of fact.
'Well Brad, how sweet is that of you? It just so happens that I do have something which would suit Angelina's colouring, take a lookie here...' I pointed him towards a link to my Folksy store to a favourite pair of PhatGrrl Scarlet O'Hara's from the Hollywood Collection, how apt!

'Perfect' Said Brad. They're just right for her and so well priced. I knew you wouldn't let me down'

'Ahh Brad, we go way back ducky, I'd do everything just to make your life easier with Ms Tantrum. Hows the tribe?'

'Yeah, good, good. We're thinking of adopting another.'

'Nice, nice..... [pause] I'll get the earrings sent over'

'Oh, that's ok I'll send a jet for them - might even stay for dinner if it's OK with you?'

'Sure thing Brad - see you later then, Beans on toast good for you?'

'Sure thing Phatty Patty, Big Love to you PhatGrrl'

'My pleasure Brad' *punches chest* 'Big Love back dude'

Time for another coffee me thinks. What a start to a grrls day huh? *wink*

'Ave a Word Paris Hilton!

2010-01-10T03:15:00.002Z

Having spent the night so far with my dear friend Paris Hilton, I have found the night to be awfully exhausting. She's very demanding and as we sat down for green tea followed by double double choc chip ice cream she squealed at the mess on my craft table. Rummaging through it, she saw the new collection (that which is not to be mentioned as yet - just because it's not finished) and the 1.5" Scarlet O'Hara earrings from the Hollywood range I have ready to list. She threw down her ice cream creating a sticky flow on my table, only to demand I make her a special pair. So I did. :D Time for bed, I do believe I'm delirious.... Disclaimer: All blog entries when tired should be read with a pinch of salt rubbed into a wound.

I also made some baby Scarlet's, in baby pink.

They're only an inch in diameter. very cute.

Swapping My Heart

2010-01-07T12:28:00.001Z

I spent a whole day yesterday weaving wire into a heart for the swap challenge that Folksy 2010 Valentine HEART Swap. I was surprisingly finding it hard to come up with an idea, so was really delighted when I thought about the wired heart. Ten years ago this February I had made a simplified version where I twisted heart shapes from wire then covered each one by hand with tissue paper and sealed in PVA. For two weeks I walked around with sore fingers and the sitting room being covered with hundreds of hearts for a Valentines event I was organising. This little weaved wired heart was just an extension of that idea really. I wasn't quite sure what I was to do with the heart once it was weaved, but the line of thought was that i would sew different objects into it with words and little bits and bobs.

It started off as 3D, until evening hit and I realised that the bright spark (not) of an idea to attach buttons onto the heart with jump rings, not only left my fingers sore, but the heart lost its shape and seemed far too heavy, even with the additional ribbon I had attached. Excuse state of my fingers, I 've been dying metal and the bits of shavings that can be seen here and there on the pics (I tried to crop off fingers and table on pictures because both are a real mess) is from then sanding down metal. Yes, I should have cleared up before taking images. But once I have an idea, I tend to just start even though I may be working ons omething else. Not good, but its how its always been. So my fingers have already been through the mill and my nails look like those of a builder.

By 8pm I was beginning to become a tad unhappy with the look of it, so removed most of the buttons on their jump rings and began to replace them by sewing the buttons on with wire.

By 11pm, I had covered the wired heart, but am still not happy with it.

It's not what was in my head. I don't want to send anything to my swap person if I wouldn't be proud to hang it up myself. So now I have put it to one side to think some more of what I want to create and whether I should continue to alter the heart or change it completely and start something new.

Back to the thinking chamber.

Happy New Year

2010-01-04T10:45:00.000Z

Arrgghhhh. It's 2010 and I'm wondering just how much I realistically have to do this year to make all my plans work. I am off from work this week, so I need to make use of the week in order to get my new items in the Folksy and Etsy shops and prepare for the completion on my own website. Ideas keep popping, and I'm hoping that today I will at least have a few items ready for listing. I started a few things over the Christmas period, it only just seems like I closed the gates at work, to think it's not long before I have to go back. I need to focus. I won't reveal some of the ideas ust yet, but there's plenty to be getting on with. Wishing everyone a Happy new Year and may it be fruitful and happy.

December

2009-12-29T09:59:00.000Z

It's been a pretty busy month trying to get reports out and funding applications for work plus wanting to find the energy to create more work for my shop. I feel a bit brain dead and lacking in energy. It hasn't helped over Christmas, stuffing myself silly and doing very little. Well I have created a whole new range of jewellery on paper.... Still waiting for the findings to arrive and witht he post being so awful and me not being able to do much about it, I just have to wait and be patient.

I received a letter from Royal mail about my complaint about missing packages, only to read in the letter that PostWatch (the highest body that deals with complaints) closed my case because the manager of the depo had told them I had collected my package. No one asked me whether I did or not, but because they lied it sent me into a crazy state of mind. It leaves you with nothing to back you up as a so called customer. There is no where to complain because the managers support their managers who support their theives. Where else are my packages going? I certainly didn't pick it up. Since when can anyone go into a depo and say I'll have that package please on that shelf over there. With no proof of ID, no 'whilst you were out card', no nothing?

So I emailed Ms K Nixon back and told her what I thought of her 'review' (I suspect they call it a review because an investigation would mean that they have to investigate their own staff and that would cause trouble at Mill now wouldn't it?) and of her managers lie and that i want to see the proof of this illusive doppelganger. It seems they will go to any lengths to hide what is going on at their depo and it leaves me cold as it effects my business directly and it means I have no where to send my packages.

So, I've been working on what I want to create for the new year. Thinking about how I can develop rangers or collections, I guess they're the same thing really. I am working on one today and hopefully I can get the packaging sorted out whilst waiting for deliveries that never turn up. It's a weird world out there and all I can ask myself is, should I still be living in the UK? Is there somewhere better than here, or is everywhere pretty much the same? Who knows.

The website is coming along slowly but surely, I imagine it will take longer than the end of January for me to go through it to find errors. There's still lots they have to do, but I like it and hope it gives me the freedom I want to be able to sell what I want under my own name.

Upcycle Christmas Runner Up

2009-12-08T08:34:00.003Z

Well after a bit of a wait, Folksy entrants to the Upcycle competition where told who the winners are.

The judges were:

Wayne Hemingway MBE, designer with Red or Dead
Louise Roe, the fashion journalist and ex BBC Clothes Show presenter
India Knight
Antoni and Alison fashion designers who ran away with rave reviews from this year’s London Fashion Week. “Glamour, sex and Hollywood”.

One of the Runners up: My Jungle Grrl Betty Page Shoes

Best Use of Materials as chosen by Anthony and Alison:

Quote "We liked these story shoes and the fact that they looked like they had been made by pouring glue all over your feet and then stepping into a box of your favourite things – this was a lovely idea…. the fact that you can stick anything onto a pair of shoes and give them a story was a lovely use of all those little things you have always wanted to find a use for…. hope they find a wearer." Anthony and Alison

So there we go, I'm thrilled. I would 'whoop' at this point, but it's time for a coffee.

Cedric the Tiger Brooch from PhatGrrl Zoo

2009-12-01T13:26:00.002Z

Cedric the Tiger has been in the wars a little bit too much recently. His brother ran off with his childhood sweetheart Cynthia. Cynthia and Harold, Cedric's brother are now living the life of luxury in Bermuda whilst Cedric has to earn a buck by entertaining the visitors at London Zoo.

Cedric's hobbies include boxing (as you can tell from his nose) and embroidery for cold nights in alone.

Cedric and lets face it, he needs some tender loving care!

He needs a home - yes, that's right, Cedric NEEDS YOU! He is looking for a good home with someone who will treat him like the Tiger brooch he is. He is a Leo and loves walking in the rain and cold nights by the fire. GSOH required, only adopt Cedric if you love attention.

A Cedric isn't just for Christmas.

Making Trends

2009-11-29T15:06:00.001Z

Crafts equals the new black.

For me, it;s not just the materials people choose to use in their work, although this is a big part of designing & making, creating and constructing.

I believe its also the concept behind how those materials are used. I know that if you have four people who are given seven items, plus the same tools and equipment those people would all come up with something different from the other. Of course there are many who like to see what the trend is and emulate that, or the copiests, which these days are hard to spot mainly because many makers buy their findings from the same places, which obviously limits any real individuality.

I do the same. I buy from those trustworthy sellers that I trust. But I find myself liking many charms, or findings which others are also using. So the challenge is to try to make them into something different, no matter how simple the idea. It's not always that easy, I love the fact that a few charms can be added to a chain and it can be as simple as that - no, not original but simple and still in demand from customers. When that chain is spotted by the customer and they like it enough to spend their money, then part of the job is done.

Surely there should still be a level of quality control and a real willingness to develop and stretch yourself creatively? Or does it just get harder for the small crafter to keep up with the bigger mass produced boys?

I make moulds, I haven't as yet put many of my rings up from the mould I make. In fact, having been making items from moulds of objects found and gathered over the years, I came across a very large Japanese store only recently who had begun to sell chocolate rings. Now I know the Japanese are the Kings of plastic sweets, but I was horrified. It made me think twice about adding my rings to my shop, mainly because I know how long it takes me to make a mould, and there is no way I can keep up with the big boys low prices. I know mine are made with love and care, but as a customer, surely it depends what you're looking for and willing to pay?

They are time consuming and more than not, each one although a mould, once the plastic clay is removed still has to be altered normally by carving away at it and sanding down. It's a long process and worth it, but does that mean I have to sell it for £6 like the big boys?

How did that get in here - Henry and Sybil - I didn't make them

I'm not sure there is much originality left on this earth though so finding inspiration can be a hunt for that illusive light bulb moment. I have seen some amazingly talented crafters who seem to somehow pull things out of the bag and rise up up smelling of a complete rose garden.

The making scene has truly exploded, it's the new black, the new thing to be involved in, the thing to be seen doing. You know when what for some of us is a pure joy becomes a trend and has reached its peak when funding foundations suddenly begin offering money for 'crafting clubs' for children. Not that it's a bad thing, but why wait to promote cratfs to children? Why not just give the schools more money so that they can run great art and textile departments? Traditionally the UK was once known for its crafts, many were allowed to fade into oblivion often through lack of funding.

Traditional crafts like knitting, sewing, crochet haven't actually been lost completely and many children are taught those skills, albeit not by their parents or grand parents. But I'll save that monologue for another day.

It thrills me to this day after 40+ years of making the things I believed would please, or be loved/owned by others that designers, crafters, makers can still come up with the most mind blowing items.

Tea in The Jungle

2009-11-29T12:05:00.002Z

Ok, so I was on the scrounge in Portobello Road market and found a few bits left on their lonesomes. As normal I plonked them into my bag and made my way home. The bright yellow teapot was a find. I actually wanted to use it but the cup makes tea go cold real fast because it's so wide. I guess if you're a fast drinker it would be ok. So what better use for it than to donate it to the Folksy UpCycle Comp along with the Jungle Grrl Betty Page Shoes.

Not Only do you end up with sassy feet, you can have a cuppa tea and a sit down too...

Here's my teapot jungle experience!

So there you have it. Two tubes of Uhu later and you have a Jungle Grrl Teapot for one, or two... I doubt it would harm it if tea were to be made in it. I haven't tested it, but I can't see why the glue would suddenly melt. But you never know, so in the name of the health and safety Goddess, whoever ends up with this mass of flora would have to test it out for themselves at their own risk!

Jungle Grrl Betty Shoes - Folksy UpCycle - The Make

2009-11-29T11:05:00.001Z

I've always been fascinated by the fifties: B Movies, curvaceous women, Hollywood, the image of the classic fifties housewife, Betty Page and more.

I mentioned the Folksy UpCycle competition to some of the staff team at work and that I wanted a pair of shoes for an idea I had, Gary (who initially took the micky) said he'd ask his girlfriend (Sara Sarah - my nickname for her) whether or not she had any she wanted to pass my way.

When he dropped them into me on his day off I was thrilled. They were size 6 and a half patent leather peep toe, the image of Betty Page in her leopard skin Jungle grrl costume popped into my head. I don't have a clue why, I can only suspect that the peep toe shoe to me are very reminiscent of fifties Hollywood glamour and I've always had a thing about Jungle Grrl, so why not use that as my inspiration.

I had already acquired some plastic flowers which had been chucked out by someone on my street. I was thrilled, it's like finding gold. Attached to long stalks, was a mass of flowers and buds, a little dusty but some of the colours looked ok even though many had been faded by the sun. No matter, I grabbed the orange bag and took it home, fighting against the stalks made from wire. They were pretty dusty, but apart from some being broken and faded, they were a treat for me to find! I stared, I nabbed, got poked in the face a few times by the stalks but I finally conquered!

The previous week I had found a teapot which was languishing on its lonesome with some old baby clothes by a rained out closed stall in Portobello Road Market - you can see how that turned out in another post as I haven't uploaded that one to Folksy as yet (look at me talking as though there's someone actually reading this, Ha! Well I know my sister pops by *waves*). The market is the ideal place to find second hand bits and bobs just strewn all over the place once the market has closed and if you get there before the cleaners arrive, it's a delight to see what people just don't want any more. I had a few plastic cupcake flowers, which were difficult to use because of the plastic, so I wasn't able to use those as I imagined. I do have ideas for other shoes donated by Hayley, Gary's sister, just not so sure I'll be able to make them in time.

The dolls had already been given to me by friends whose children didn't want them any more. Most of my friends know I collect doll pieces for sculptures and the like so I used a few cut up heads and arms for some select areas on the shoes. I actually wanted grown up dolls heads, but didn't find any down Portobello Road or at any of the charity shops in Kilburn. Never the less, the picture in my head was forming, so it was all good...

ripped the leaves off their stalks, removed some of the plastic vines from the leaves themselves, pulled the flowers apart just to stick them back together again (once the stalk is pulled out, the bud of the flower seems to come away and the petals fall apart).

Scored the patent leather with a craft knife and added each layer of leaves and waiting for the glue to dry on each part of the shoe. I felt a bit bad scoring into shoes which looked as though they had been worn only a few times, but hey ho... score them I did.

Once the leaves were in place, the flowers were positioned along with the doll pieces. I used Uhu glue and Evostick to attach the leaves, flowers and plastic dolls pieces. I'll leave it to the images to show you what I did. No need for loads of text at this point.

The doll pieces had to be backed with some of the poinsettia red leaves to create a good surface for them to stick to the leaves. I'm not sure what the leaves are made from, but if they're fabric, they have been covered in some kind of plastic seal. It's not the best surface to glue, that's where the bull dog clips came in handy.

And that's it. My Jungle Grrl Betty Page Shoes. Fingers crossed and all that! Jungle Grrl Betty Page

Folksy Upcycle

2009-11-19T16:18:00.001Z

Today I started my idea for the Folksy Upcycle competition. I have just sepnt four hours starting it, so far I won't say too much about it as I have a nasty feeling I will change my mind. I am already not sure if it's on the right track. But I will let it sit for a while and go back to it and see what i think. I will post pics when I am closer to knowing its what i want to continue with.. Time for tea.

Folksy Upcycle Competition

2009-11-17T09:09:00.002Z

I really really wanted to take part in Folksys Upcycle competition [Upcycle Christmas is a competition for people to take second hand / charity stuff and make it into something ‘new’ and desirable to be sold at an on-line auction starting on the 7th December]. I imagined a very glam costume being made out of all sorts. It got me fired up...

In fact, I wanted to take part so much, I weathered the cold and the rain on Saturday when I was feeling particularly shit health wise to go looking for some bits and bobs in my local charity store or even, if I had to in Portobello Road Market (known at the end of the day to have heaps of freebies lying around the streets of Portobello Road). By Saturday morning, I knew my cold was pretty yuck, it felt as though it had gone to my chest so to stay in the warm would have probably been a better idea.

Ok, then maybe NOT!

I got dressed, downed the last dregs of my tea which had turned cold very quickly and wrapped myself up with my big scarf (remembered I had left my brolly at work) to take a stroll on Ladbroke Grove to the charity shop which has been there for many years and had a great supply of items to recycle. I had several ideas floating around in my head so was quite excited to be off out on the hunt for a bargain. It began to bucket down as I plodded around looking for last minute throw aways and headed eagerly getting more and more soaked, down to the charity shop. The streets were full of tourists bustling toward the market, the puddles were getting deeper, the rain heavier and my coat soaked so that little puddles began to form on standing still beneath me. I shuffled through crowds of people to get to where I wanted to go glad I had left my camera at home in the downpour. I started to feel very hot (from illness) and very frustrated (at people) at the stop start rate of walking to try to avoid bumping into pausing tourists, gazing at this dull place in the rain as though we were in the midsts of summer time and there was something glorious to look at

I finally made my way past the bus stop on Ladbroke Grove and kept walking. I knew I was looking for the blue sign, which by the way just said 'Charity shop' no specific name from what I can recall. (I don't pay much attention to signs as you can probably tell - my mind is usually floating off somewhere else when I'm outside on the street). I turned back, having realised I'd gone to far and walked past the bus stop again, and stopped. The charity shop had now become a chemist. I had no idea when or why but the pale blue sign had now turned into a very large fonted dark blue CHEMIST sign. My heart sank, the rain smacked me in the face and continued to soak me in every way possible. I trudged back up Ladbroke grove and took a turning into the market, took one look at the black dirty soaked streets felt the heat of my brow and thought better of it.

I returned home, a bit despondent and frustrated really and if I'm honest, ready to kill. The ideas scribbled down onto paper, I emailed friends to ask for any bits they might want to donate to the cause. Having explained that the competition is to support the Sue Ryder Charity I had several offers of items needed, I just couldn't muster up the strength in my cold/flu state to get them.

So, I am hoping that I can take part and find the time to pick them up so that I can start my entry and submit it before the 5th December. I'll add pictures of the items donated when I pick them up.

Super Size Me PhatGrrl - Or Super Handmade?

2009-11-16T17:48:00.008Z

I love my floral range. I mean, I reeeaalllly love them. I know it takes a sassy woman to wear something like my Scarlett's, Jezebel or even or even my Super Size Me PhatGrrl - 90mm of pure woman, but wear them they do. The thought that a Princess, Rock Chick or Delicious Diva is walking around town with something I made makes me very proud. I make what I love, I don't care how simple or complex it is, as long as the concept can become a reality by me making it with my hands.

I stared thinking about this because of something I read about what is handmade.

I think it's really down to the original idea had and whether you use your hands to create that idea. I know the first time I saw 'handmade' cards in John lewis in the late1980's and thought, whoa, those aren't handmade, you can't call something handmade just because you add each little watering can with glue and a few flowers... But why can't you? If it's touched by someone's hands in the making process surely it's handmade.

I was of course comparing those cards with the handmade cards I was making and there was no real comparison. Not because mine were 'more' handmade than the ones on the shelf (note: well that's a lie now isn't it? Because they were), but because of techniques I had available to me as a designer maker and those available to (what I saw as) a large company that could produce high volumes of a 'handmade' items and sell in bulk to big stores. I had at the time created my own little handmade factory myself, but I knew they were all handmade by ME on my sisters sitting room floor.

It's just at the time, I felt that my long process of creating a 3D effect onto individually hand cut shapes was the way to go(note: At that time there were no machine cutters - or certainly not what I could afford if they did indeed exist for small crafters and if they did, I doubt that they would have cut out what I wanted as shapes. embossing manually wasn't in play either for small crafters to my knowledge, but I didn't have huge amounts of cash then to buy loads of expensive equipment) by using a process of medium on card to create a raised effect which then sat on plastic to dry over night and was then rubbed with gold leaf to create a lavish embellishment on a handmade greeting card, I felt those were real handmade.But was that me just being snooty?

Mine probably were made with more love and attention, certainly more hard work in the process from what I could see, but I didn't really know if it was some crafter who had got lucky and sold a large order to John Lewis, or some poor little kids in some back of beyond factory in Asia sticking down mini watering cans with flowers and a sign saying 'handmade' and getting paid a penny a week.

I took a rough guess, just like many do when they begin to weigh up what they think handmade is, over what they themselves create each day and whether or not that other version of handmade deserves a place on the same shelf as theirs.

Things back then were already changing in how 'handmade' was being created and by whom and how the big boys, like John Lewis and WHSmiths were starting to wake up to the joy (and profits) of having a small section for handmade cards in their stores. So it was obvious that they would be seeking ways to create these handmade cards at a cheaper cost than some one woman bedroom factory that was selling her cards for (what was it now?) £2.75. The problem is, right or wrong, if someone makes these cards by physically touching it with their hands and sticking cut-outs onto card wherever they are living, whoever they work for, doesn't that still make it handmade? Or is that how easy it is to get away with making bulk orders and feeling justified to labelling it handmade?

Do I agree with cheap labour? No of course not. I just keep wondering with all the discussion on what constitutes handmade, how people decide what they consider handmade to be?

hand·made (hand′mād′)

adjective

Made by hand, not by machine; made by a process requiring manual skills

So where does that leave exploited workers and their so called employers who pay their workers crap money for gluing small watering cans onto card? Is what they do any less handmade because they're exploited? I'm sure the purists when discussions arise don't really think about that one. I'm not sure my point is coming across very well, because as I say... It's just a thought on some of the things I've read on-line by people who profess to know what constitutes handmade.

I always thought that if you were creating it by choice, making it by choice and using whatever you want in that process to deliver the final item into the realms of reality and it makes you smile every day then surely that's a good thing and its handmade?

I just don't know any more with this explosion of handmade, there will always be purists. I can only say what I do, what I know and how I got to this point in my life. Where I now know that all I want to do is create and make. I don't feel more of a crafter because one day my hands are covered in glue and the next they're covered in Gocco ink. I'm no more or less a designer maker than someone who decides that they want to construct mass produced findings into jewellery pieces, 'cause I do that myself, I also do loads of other things too and some of them will be featured int his blog.

It scares me the thrill I get from my arts and craft equipment, the joy I have coming up with ideas. I see the beauty in the most crazy messed up things that many would see as complete tosh and not worthy to use in jewellery making let alone art - it just sometimes takes me a while to get to the end thing. I believe in the idea, the concept as well as in what materials are to hand or needed to help create the end product to make it live, to make it real.I also know that the above can be seen as a mass of crap really.

Now if you got your cat to sew the sequins on a recycled bit of fabric on the other hand, I'm not so sure that would count - that would be pawmade. But then again, why would you even care - I'd sell the cat!

Sybil

P.S Don't get to bowled over by me ole spelling 'cause it's as heavenly some days as my gluing! Tata for now.

Phat Stuff!

2009-11-16T16:41:00.006Z

Today I decided that I would set up a blog. I am waiting for my website to be completed and it's going to take a few weeks more. So this seemed like a good idea and if it turns out to be otherwise, I can delete it.

I think I'm getting better at product shots, so what better to begin my new blog than to stick up some of those images. Maybe it will make the walls feel a little bit more welcoming and less cold.

Jezebel Bracelet

I am rather proud, but still have a long way to go. It's not that I'm a novice at making stuff to sell or otherwise, it's just that I never had to take pictures of the things I created unless they were to promote workshops I ran. People pics, I'm ok at, product pics... hmmmm. Anyway I ran around the web looking for instructions for a light box. I had saved info before but as it goes, I am great at saving links, just not remembering where i saved them to whether that's in the ole bookmarking thingy on the browser or in notepad. So, I fluttered around and found a few and made my little weird looking box.

Now I know that the idea is that not much money is spent on the materials used. But having realised that daylight seemed to never provide me with great shots either, and the normal light bulb clearly giving off yellow tinged photos, I forked out for some daylight bulbs. One blew the moment it was put into the lamp and so two new lamps were purchased, with two new bulbs. I won't bother saying how much it cost in time, faffing around and then finally delivery of these things. To then realise that I could be in a professional studio and still cock up. It's also down to me (as my sister so clearly remarked), the person behind the camera.

Sassy!

So there you go.

So I went from dull, to ok (not a reflection on my character of course) to content until I saw the image on PC screen to deletions, numerous and then to finally realising I wasn't actually supposed to use the flash. To finally photos that I can use without cringing. Do I have any blogger tips? Do I hell as like! Just get your credit card ready grrl cause it's gonna be more that an old cardboard box and some toilet tissue!

I'm loving Blogger by the way!